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The Secret Diary of a Wiltshire New Potato... the roast carrot and an indecent proposal week(s)
Gosh haven’t I been remiss at writing my blog recently; you’ll be thinking that I have gone to seed.... but I have an honest excuse; I’ve been away on a course in London!
So to my last couple of weeks, and yes they have been smashingly busy again.... I’ve been internet shopping and I am due to pick up the fruits of my e-browsing tomorrow – Ooo how exciting (for me at least). I’m going to be the proud owner of a motorbike (my first bike in a few years). Now I can play CHiPs and ride like a hot potato at my leisure. But enough about my lovely, wonderful, lovely, shiny, did I say lovely (?), new toy. It’s the colour of roasted carrots by the way... well a lovely metallic burnt orange actually, so a very stylish carrot in truth :-D and it’s lovely... oops sorry I am going on too much about my lovely new toy?! I’m sure I am...
...and back to my past few weeks....
I’ve been in... well near... the big smoke. They were cramming my vegetable brain with facts and figures, information and knowledge; so much so that I now feel like a pickled cabbage!
One of the best bits about my week away, other than the plane spotting opportunities... every 30 seconds... was the food! Oh my, what a choice, I’ve come back looking like an overstuffed jacket potato! So I have a stuffed brain and a stuffed belly - all I need now is to sprinkle myself with a little seasoning and I’d be truly ready to be cooked (well I do like a little spice from time to time you know).
A lovely cooked breakfast every morning... with hash browns of course... followed by an assortment of fruit. The most amazing lunch time choice, stuffed aubergines, vegetable moussaka, ratatouille... there’s a theme here just in case you haven’t noticed... but I did also indulge in a lovely roast dinner as one cannot live on potatoes and veg alone you know! (Well apparently you can but this potato prefers a variety).
The food highlight involved a 20 mile trek across central London to a little cafe restaurant that serves South Indian food... which is all vegetation by the way. A taste sensation indeed! Spicy but not too hot, tasty and not at all bland, in fact it was soo good I would be surprised if anyone, who hadn’t been pre warned, would realise that it was totally vegetarian! South Indian food is totally different to your normal UK Indian fare and there is not a single vindaloo in sight!
So where does the indecent proposal enter into my week you may ask??? Well!... South Indian food customs included eating with your fingers - when in East Ham as the saying goes... so I indulged in some rather messy finger work. All’s well and good... until.... dramatic bollywood moment... my dining companion very calmly asked if he could help me clean my hands... by... wait for it... licking my fingers for me!!!!!
Well ruddy rhubarb, I very nearly choked on my carrot Dosai and spat out my Poha Vegetable Upma!!!
As I naively... and a little worriedly... scanned the room to check if this really was a genuine and customary practice I couldn’t help but notice the smirk on my dining companions face!... ... ... Hitting your escort around the head with a limp Dosa (type of pancake) isn’t customary but it sure did wipe the smirk of their face. So with the gentle tittering of the other surrounding diners suddenly resonating around the room the realisation dawns that this was an ‘in joke’ and a ‘customary’ wind up for those new to this dining culture. Ooooh those cunning Cumins! (Chuckles) and a good laugh was had by all.
And on that note I’m feeling rather peckish so I will wish you all a lovely week
...and just remember “Half the world is composed of idiots, the other half of people clever enough to take indecent advantage of them” ...well, unless they are armed with pancakes ;-) *Smile*
...but on second thought as “Nature knows no indecencies; man invents them” perhaps I should just say yes to the next offer of a finger licking *Wicked Smile*