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The Secret Diary of a Wiltshire new Potato... good girls use protection.

Posted by on in News

Well I was just about to start the blog in an entirely different fashion when I received an unexpected knock on my door. Flowers! For me?! Apparently, yes, they are for me *Smile*  Ohh-err indeed and they really are rather lovely. Well what a wonderful surprise for a little potato like me... who are they from you may ask?... you may ask, but should I tell?... (Maybe later.. I do like to keep you all in suspenders from time to time)


So I’ve had a week of hot potato fun involving *leather, lubricant, and racy behaviour*... oh and a man in uniform (sort of). Sound interesting?...Yes it was thank you ;-)... and no, I haven’t been taking hints from ‘that book’ (chuckles).

My lovely new racing carrot (the motorbike) has proved to be an endless source of fun and entertainment.... I must make a general observational comment at this point; I do find it rather amusing how a lady in leather appears to ‘stir the sauce’ for some members of the human race... but that’s another story, so back to my week...

The main event involved a lovely ride (now don’t even get me started on that pun or I’ll have to start x rating my blogs!) on one of the rather surprisingly sunny evenings we have had. ... surprising as the weather does appear to be rather confused at the moment; tropical fruit one minute and autumnal apples the next (well... I had to get the fruit/veg ref in here somewhere).

So to the ride - a hot potato and some CHiPs set out to ride off into the sunset in search of sustenance    ... a nice veggie dish is what I had in mind but I suspect I would have ended up with meat and two veg (as I said earlier don’t get me started on the puns!) as we were heading to some good old fashioned pub grub...     joyous, wind in the hair riding, unhindered by the traffic, a little *racy* at times (chuckles), when oh no, one of the bikes broke down (a red hot Ducati chilli pepper, in case you are interested in the detail)! Darn those dills and bugger those bananas (general swearing and absolutely no puns intended)!

Being a prepared and ‘protected’ rider (the only one in the group with Radishes And Carrots membership) it was up to me to save the day.

So we spent the next three hours in a lay-by... ... ...


Can you tell it was a long wait?... ... ... ...

Eventually the cavalry arrived wearing a rather fetching orange *uniform (well I did tempt you by saying there was a uniform involved ;-). The cavalry ruled out a *lubricant issue (see I don’t make it up ;-) but alas the ailing machine had to be towed home. ...  for all of those that are now worried for the health of the chilli pepper, you’ll be pleased to hear that it wasn’t a major breakdown and parts are on order.

So, not quite the food feast I had in mind, and boy was I as hungry as a haricot by the time I got home, but still, the chilli pepper and CHiPs appear to have been thankful for the use of my 'protection'... hence the lovely flowers. *Smile*

Whilst talking about protection, and I do feel I haven’t mentioned the leather enough, I am overjoyed to have finally found a pair of biking trousers that fit – as after all, a good girl must use protection (chuckles).

I’ve spend endless hours trying on leather biking trousers these past few weeks with little success; it seems that the makers of girly biker gear don’t expect us to have a bum or waist! Grrr! But sing the sweet potatoes praises! I’ve finally found some... I’m much relived to be finally properly protected when engaging in my racy past time... ;-)

So on that note I’m off to stick my head out of the window in the hope of a break in the cloudy skies ready for my next racy adventure...

Have a great week folks and just remember -

“Never ride faster than your guardian angel can fly”     ... or at least make sure your angel carries the right kind of (breakdown) protection LOL – I’ve never been called an angle before *Smile*

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The Secret Diary of a Wiltshire New Potato... the roast carrot and an indecent proposal week(s)

Posted by on in News

Gosh haven’t I been remiss at writing my blog recently; you’ll be thinking that I have gone to seed.... but I have an honest excuse; I’ve been away on a course in London!

So to my last couple of weeks, and yes they have been smashingly busy again.... I’ve been internet shopping and I am due to pick up the fruits of my e-browsing tomorrow – Ooo how exciting (for me at least). I’m going to be the proud owner of a motorbike (my first bike in a few years). Now I can play CHiPs and ride like a hot potato at my leisure.  But enough about my lovely, wonderful, lovely, shiny, did I say lovely (?), new toy. It’s the colour of roasted carrots by the way... well a lovely metallic burnt orange actually, so a very stylish carrot in truth :-D and it’s lovely... oops sorry I am going on too much about my lovely new toy?! I’m sure I am...

...and back to my past few weeks....

I’ve been in... well near... the big smoke. They were cramming my vegetable brain with facts and figures, information and knowledge; so much so that I now feel like a pickled cabbage!

One of the best bits about my week away, other than the plane spotting opportunities... every 30 seconds... was the food! Oh my, what a choice, I’ve come back looking like an overstuffed jacket potato!  So I have a stuffed brain and a stuffed belly - all I need now is to sprinkle myself with a little seasoning and I’d be truly ready to be cooked (well I do like a little spice from time to time you know).

A lovely cooked breakfast every morning... with hash browns of course... followed by an assortment of fruit. The most amazing lunch time choice, stuffed aubergines, vegetable moussaka, ratatouille... there’s a theme here just in case you haven’t noticed... but I did also indulge in a lovely roast dinner as one cannot live on potatoes and veg alone you know! (Well apparently you can but this potato prefers a variety).

The food highlight involved a 20 mile trek across central London to a little cafe restaurant that serves South Indian food... which is all vegetation by the way. A taste sensation indeed! Spicy but not too hot, tasty and not at all bland, in fact it was soo good I would be surprised if anyone, who hadn’t been pre warned, would realise that it was totally vegetarian!  South Indian food is totally different to your normal UK Indian fare and there is not a single vindaloo in sight!

So where does the indecent proposal enter into my week you may ask??? Well!... South Indian food customs included eating with your fingers  - when in East Ham as the saying goes... so I indulged in some rather messy finger work. All’s well and good... until.... dramatic bollywood moment... my dining companion very calmly asked if he could help me clean my hands... by... wait for it... licking my fingers for me!!!!!

Well ruddy rhubarb, I very nearly choked on my carrot Dosai and spat out my Poha Vegetable Upma!!!

As I naively... and a little worriedly... scanned the room to check if this really was a genuine and customary practice I couldn’t help but notice the smirk on my dining companions face!... ... ... Hitting your escort around the head with a limp Dosa (type of pancake) isn’t customary but it sure did wipe the smirk of their face. So with the gentle tittering of the other surrounding diners suddenly resonating around the room the realisation dawns that this was an ‘in joke’ and a ‘customary’ wind up for those new to this dining culture. Ooooh those cunning Cumins! (Chuckles) and a good laugh was had by all.

And on that note I’m feeling rather peckish so I will wish you all a lovely week

...and just remember “Half the world is composed of idiots, the other half of people clever enough to take indecent advantage of them”  ...well, unless they are armed with pancakes ;-) *Smile*

...but on second thought as “Nature knows no indecencies; man invents them” perhaps I should just say yes to the next offer of a finger licking *Wicked Smile*

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The Secret Diary of a Wiltshire New Potato... the warm, wet, & saucy edition.

Posted by on in News

... and I have to report I really have been, warm, wet, dishing up sauce, and in pain this week – hmmm it’s already starting to sound like a chapter from that book!

OK, so with that in mind let’s just get the book review over and done with – I’m nearly half way through and I still can’t seem to get past the mills & spoon ‘feel’ of it; the tension, the expectation that emotions might be mashed, is it right, is it wrong... mills & spoon with a dash of Worcester sauce if you ask me! Take out the adult language and replace it with a dollop of good old fashioned ketchup and we are back to it being a plain ‘samey’ romance story. I have to ask where is the intrigue, character building, and plot twists, which makes a great novel. Perhaps this style of writing is just not my cup of tea, although there are a few hobnobs... (Refer to blog ‘X&Y edition’ if you want to understand that reference).

Still, half a book to go, so we shall see...

This darn book is the current , and only (it seems at times), chit chat subject at my workplace, but, if what you are actually after is a sizzling hot potato style story, then I’m reliably informed that the Black Lace series are the books to read (well....according to my work sauces ;-).

So to the warm and wet part of my week –


I am of course referring to our grand British summer!

I was helping out at a charity fund raiser this past weekend. When we arrived it was glorious sunshine *Smile*; when the family fun day officially opened.... torrential rain! Boy, soggy potatoes indeed! It was fun though and we did manage to cook up a storm with our BBQ hotdog and burger stand.... with a selection of sauces available of course.  Hopefully a few pennies were raised with the very brave souls that came to see what was happening on the day.  The clown and punch & Judy show continued despite the lightning, the band played on... well until the *bouncy castle started floating down the field (*some artist licence has been used here).

An early finish and a very interesting drive home – I learnt the new skill of fording when driving on the main roads out of Chippenham! Always look on the bright side – my instinct to slip the clutch and rev like I’d swallowed a shot of Tabasco sauce faired me well... better than some poor souls at least. Oh and let’s not forget the steamy bit (to complete the warm and wet subject)... blowers at full blast as I dripped and steamed nicely under the warmth of my car heater.

Ah and let’s not forget the pain! There are professional sadists out there for those that want to try out some of the suggestions from the ‘book’!... Not really, but with a crick in my neck I dutifully made appointments with a local chiropractor.... Ooooo, Ouch, and Crunch! Crumbling potato wedges, is my neck supposed to turn that way? :-o With a recommendation to use frozen peas to ease my discomfort (“not carrots?”... I did ask) I can now turn my neck again. Thankfully the Chiro did have a sense of humour when I asked about his 50 shades dungeon services.

So with my bag of peas at the ready I’ll wish you all a lovely week

...and try to remember when reading a book review “What is sauce for the goose may be sauce for the gander but is not necessarily sauce for the chicken, the duck, the turkey or the guinea hen”  or a potato. where can I get the Black Lace series? ;-) *Smile*

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It’s been a strange sort of week... or is it just me that is strange?

Don’t answer that one or I might spud you up! (Chuckles - personally I like to think of myself as well rounded individual (which is an almost perfect shape for a potato) with just a touch of fruit salad ;-).

What I have I been up to... riding with CHiPs again, sampling French fries at various establishments (none worth recommending), planning a charity event with a great bunch of grapes, a stroll along the riverside,.... OH and an encounter with a pointy carrot! An unexpected and muddy occurrence... phew blushing beetroots and cringing cabbage indeed!

But in true potato style I’ll leave you cooking on that and come back to that point later, te,he,he...

So my week... whilst I keep you in suspense (devilish grin)...

I read the first chapter of that curly fries book (currently available at smASDA 3 copies for £10), and was a little disappointed; girl meets millionaire, man makes girl blush – hmm a bit mills & Spoon so far. But still, it is only the first chapter...  can I skip to the roasting and vegetable tossing I wonder (?) No, I’ll give it a fair trial, chapter two tonight...

The lovely weather! I need not comment on that I’m sure; pure char grilled veg weather indeed, now where did I put my sun frying oil *Big sunny smiles*

A few meals out, a gossip with the girls... but alas not a hot potato gossip in sight!

Are you still in suspenders? Shall I get to the point (literally!)?

...and then a trip to the quiet, sleepy, quaint, town of Calne – quiet/quaint I don’t think so! Radical radishes and peculiar parsnips indeed!

The town was potato sack packed to the rafters for a bike meet and fun fair so the local establishments were rather jammed like a tin of sardines - and then it was my turn to venture to the bar. So with a polite “excuse me” and “sorry” I wiggle my way towards the refreshments... people to the left of me, people to the right, in front, behind, it sure was an orange squash! So there I am minding my own peas & quenepa (it’s an exotic fruit, just in case you were wondering)  when I feel something pressed up against my leg ... with nowhere to move a quick glance tells me that I have a male member ( not yet, wait for it, don’t jump to the punch line just yet) of the species pressed close enough to breath down my neck.  An alarmed look to my companion and a quick exchange of lip reading and she mouths the words “mobile phone” at me...  Phew, relief and thank the crunchy veg! So with the occasional sensation of pressing, I venture on...

What’s this?!?!?! A new sensation of vibrating but further to the right, now I really am one confused cauliflower! A phone is extracted and answered so why oh why do I still feel this strange pro-tuber-ance sticking into my leg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  A quick glance over my shoulder and a slimy smile given in return and I challenge anyone to have parted the red sea faster than I!!!!

Needless to say I exited the establishment faster than a speeding runner bean! !!!

So shocking shallots aside - I have now been the subject of turnip teasing, marrow mirth and merriment, from my girl ’friends’! Thank you kindly you bunch of terrible tomatoes; I’ll stop blushing like a beetroot as some point this millennium I sure! Chuckles.

Now to save myself any mental torture, and further severe ribbing from my female companions, I have convinced myself that most men carry a carrot in their pocket... indeed I actually know somebody (not the offender I might add) that does – no kidding, you know who you are! ;-).

So on that note... and safe in the knowledge that men do carry comic carrots in their pockets...

have a great day, evening, week folks - and always remember what your mother told you:

It’s rude to point!... well in that manner at least *Smile*

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So the FB group I belong to has gone all covert ops are now operating underground!...see, I knew they harboured hidden desires to be potatoes after all! It’s the best place for a potato, a dark, (...ok not so dark, but still, it would ruin my link to potato growing if I described it as light, warm and welcoming!) secret world of intrigue, excitement, and mystery ...  I guess this means that the clandestine knowledge of how to maintain a good strong and straight carrot will remain privileged information indeed. If we tell you, we’ll have to kill you.... this message will self destruct in 5... 4... 3... On seconds thoughts, what a mashing mess that would make!!! Perhaps not then, as we all know what a surprisingly sticky gloop mashed potatoes can make!

So what on earth (dark and damp for a good potato) am I blathering on about you may ask... The group admin has discovered that our FB group can be set to secret, oh-err, and I just can’t help but to start humming the mission impossible theme. ... (but perhaps that’s just me (chuckles))

So pointless notations about FB group settings aside...back to my mission of finding fellow new potatoes...  (I’m humming that tune again!)

I really have been busy in my search, so much so that my poor sautéed mind can’t keep up with my own comings and goings to-ings and fro-ings; a hotpot of vegetables and potato variety indeed.

From the sandcastle building to visiting Bristol to discover my ancestors import roots, from an Idiot band to a thrilling ride with some CHiPs!

So what did I discover in Bristol? The most amazing Bombay potatoes! I titter ye not, a lovely Indian restaurant that tickled my taste buds and pleased my senses. I ‘like’ Indian food but this was just yummy! (The Raj Bari in Hotwells for any that are in the area). It was also great just spending time catching up with an old spud friend who I haven’t seen in too many years.

Another bunch of fruits and funny veg that were, brilliant, funny, and totally entertaining - “The Idiot basta*d band”! Despite the group’s name there was only a touch of spice, but oh how I laughed until I nearly split my potato jacking seams... Hmm this seems to be turning into a recommendations blog rather than a secret mission report, but hey, I won’t tell if you don’t!

Other than the seagulls trying to steal my fries on the beach... yes they did!... I met a great bunch of CHiPs (for those that remember Ponch & Jon you’ll understand this reference) who offered me a ride on the back of a motorcycle. It’s been three years since I last got on a bike, where unfortunately I was mashed by an inattentive car driver, so it was definitely time to get back in the saddle and regain my confidence. (I did consider at this point trying to make a potato sack into a metaphor for a saddle, but that would come across as an entirely different story... time to get back in the sack... nope, not one for this week ;-)...

So with the wind in my hair (hmm potatoes don’t have hair but I’m sure you’ll forgive me that descriptive oversight) and wrapped tightly in a leather (potato) jacket we sped off into the sunset in search of... fried chipped potatoes (I’m a glutton for punishment and decided to challenge those seagulls to another round). So here is another recommendation; WSM bike night (Thursday eve - runs until mid September), free music, a few trade stands and lots of lovely shiny machines to drool over... oh and don’t forget the opportunity for some fish & chips by the sea, just lovely.

Some may think I’m half baked returning to the biking scene after being sliced and diced by a car driver, but actually there is just no feeling like it! Whooshing down the road like a hot potato... ahhh such fun.

...but alas my secret mission report must end as I’m off to plan my next smashingly busy week.... and I think my “this message will self destruct in...” has more than passed its detonation setting... oh dear you are left reading a charred lump of overcooked potato indeed.

So have fun folks and just remember:

“There is more to life than simply increasing its speed”-  if you are on a mission, don’t forget to enjoy the ride! *Smile*

Tagged in: potato
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The Secret Diary of a Wiltshire New Potato... 50 shades of potato... and a carrot.

Posted by on in News

...and so to the rest of my Smashingly busy week ...

A trip to Well’s farmers market... now there was a fine selection of home grown potatoes indeed! I must say though, the carrots were a little on the small side... perhaps Chris can give some tips on how to develop a good sized carrot... then again, it would probably end up as another X and Y edition! Oooh Err misses.... I look forward to Chris writing that one (chuckles).

Next was a visit to my sister who is quite a radical radish. We spent half an hour talking to her car... no we haven’t lost the plot (the ‘pot plot’ was the blog edition from a few weeks ago... hmm then again, talking to a car, you may be forgiven for thinking that there was Pot involved - which there wasn’t!) We were trying to engage with the new voice recognition technology in her car but fear it is a step too far for old pureed vegetables like us. (..and I work in IT,  shame on me!).

Then!... Gosh... shock... a book review from my Sweet Pea (aka the niece)... Noooo! Who let her near the ‘all spice’ that is called 50 Shades of Grey! ... Actually I have never read it and hear it’s a very good read... but still, when the Sweet Pea asks “what is BDSM” what do you say?! :-o   I tried telling her it was “Broccoli Drives Some Mad”, but alas she’s not that gullible...

The extracts that I did read... curly fries and blushing beetroot is all I can say!!! (sniggering).

Despite my insistence at removing the book for further inspection the radical radish household insisted on keeping the spicy offerings for their own consumption. ... Damn I’ll have to buy my own copy now... 

I was going to tell you all about my encounter with a Bok Choy and the grand building of the sandcastle... I just know you are all on tender hooks to hear all about the sandcastle! Alas, the radical radish household has left me in need of a quiet lie down to recover my starch after all that excitement.

On that note, have a lovely day folks and just remember –

“What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art” So don’t dismiss the 50 fruits from your salad; they may just be the complimentary ingredient that you need. *Smile*

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Phew, it’s been a frenzied but fun week so far...

The white horse illumination procession was just wonderful with hundreds if not a thousand (that’s that gratuitous cake reference just in case you were wondering... if you missed it, the cake reference that is,  don’t worry I’m sure there will be more ;-)... a thousand of fellow ‘light bites’ winding their way up Roundway hill. Hmm, I couldn’t help but wonder if anyone had thought to bung a few potatoes in the bottom of the very stylish braziers.... yum, now wouldn’t that have been lovely!

The horse looked amazing lit by the lanterns and the simple but effective fireworks made the hillside glow like... like the candles on a 100 year celebration cake (whoops I’m still thinking of baked sweet food... gosh haven’t I just got a one track mind!).

I also had great fun at the Veterans Day celebrations; there were some wonderful demonstrations and re-enactments. I have to confess to a sneaky peak and girlish snigger at the ‘potato wedges’ produced when a couple of the Red Devil parachutists landed on their bottoms due to the very high winds and fast approach/landing. My inappropriate perving aside, I must say that they kept a very *tight formation despite the bad weather conditions (*still sniggering as I now have the words tight and ‘buns’ stuck in my mind... oh well, it is cake week so I’m sure you will forgive me!)

So after an action packed weekend of horses and devils it was off to the sea side for me!

The coast proved to be wet and windy... (hmmm and darn it, that’s somewhat ruined my lovely tight buns imagery! Wet and windy buns doesn’t quite have the same appeal)... but it was great to see the true British spirit shining through; there were lots of little sprouts and mini cup cakes enjoying the beach, despite the weather, building sand castles, riding the donkeys - A jolly good, if a little damp, time being had by all.

I must confess the trip to the seaside was more about catching up with family and friends than a true holiday, but I do intend to build a sandcastle before I leave! It just wouldn’t be right or proper to be spitting distance from the beach and not partake in the age old tradition (that’s the tradition of sand castle building not spitting). Now all I need is a new bucket and spade. Choices, choices, choices, a varied and wide selection are available indeed – there’s even some in the shape of.... wait for it.... just  a little longer... have you guessed yet... yup you guessed it... in the shape of Cake!

I’m starting to salivate now...

... and on that note this blog is really making me rather hungry so I must be off to fulfil my sweet desires.

Have a jolly good day folks

...and some words of wisdom for the day –

My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start.....

So far today, I have finished two Belgium buns and a chocolate cake. I feel better already! *Smile*

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An early edition of the diary this week as I have a smashingly busy week ahead of me...

In my quest for finding interesting new potatoes I came across a Spud yoU might Like. A cheeky little paparazzi potato who has been dicing and slicing (I would describe it as hobnobbing but that was last week’s blog ;-) with the elite of the potato world. He was there at the big jubilee events in London and recounts his experiences with a ‘potato eye’ witness report just for us:

“We had a great celebration weekend with all the jubilee events. In potato world the guest of honour was a *British Queens; as they rolled down the aisle to the throne, the Maris Piper played a Lament, even the Duke of York was there to pay his respects.
It was a real who’s who from the top list of the Potato Society (yes we really exist and even have our own website The Bella Fontenay looked gorgeous in her gown, the Rooster looked grand in his Jacket, and the Dauphinoise just looked absolutely Smashing with her cream of the crock fashion.... There were even a few foreign French Fries who came along to celebrate.

*it may not be listed on ‘love potatoes’ but is a true British variety

The weekend was diverse with sport events (the most athletic took part in the Pentland Javelin or the Sack race), music from Maris Bard, parades and fetes, colourful parties and processions; one of the evenings ended with a great fireworks and potato display from the Rocket himself. The weather was fine enough, nobody Boiled or Fried, and the crowds were Bubbling and Squeaking with excitement all weekend long. A Smashing, Mashing, royal Roast indeed.”

So from us blog readers, a big thanks to Stewed Potato for sharing his impressions of the jubilee weekend, and we look forward to his future event reviews...  and of course any hot potato gossip.

For me - after a few months hard grafting my mind is a vegetable and all mushy peas, so I’m taking a quick break from the ratatouille race... Holiday plans have been formed and just the fine grated details are left to be worked out. It will be a busy week off indeed starting with the barbequing of a white horse, a spot of ooohing and arhhing at the red arrows (or could I perhaps call them the Blazer Russet’s) at the Veterans day celebrations... then I’m off to find some sea salt and undoubtedly will end up fighting off seagulls who want to steal my chips.    ... and then....   well if I tell you too much I’d have nothing to write about next week!

On that note I will sign off as I do need to search for my bucket and spade.

Have fun folks.... and you must be asking yourself after reading this blog - why wouldn’t the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone?.....

Because he desperately wanted a scoop! *Smile*

Tagged in: humour
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Having been accused of losing the plot this week by a certain banana called Jane (you know who you are!) I decided to muse on the meaning of her words... Hmm, being a home grown potato that has neither a vegateable plot nor allotment, I really can't see how I could have lost this 'plot' that she speaks of.

Still, being intrigued by her words I decided to go and find the plot. You may remember... or not, if you have better things to do... that I recently ventured into the world of chat sites.

Well... she takes a deep breath wondering how I can possibly recount this tale without scaring any baby carrots! -

In search for said plot, it seems that my rather *mashing* style of typing, or a random turn of cyber fate if you prefer, turned my PLOT into a POT!

Accepting that fate was calling, I deceided to explore life as a teapot, as after all, tea is my hot beverage of choice... although a good dose of fertilizer would do me good I'm sure (Once a potato always a potato, despite this prediliction to being a pot)... ... Oh, hang on for one smashing-ing moment, actually now that I say that out loud, it all makes sense! Pot being an abbreviation for potato... my liking for tea... Ah-ha, fate is not so random at all! Still, I digress... badly.

 Baby carrots or petits pois please DO look away at this point!

 So the humble teapot, so fine a vessel, used for steeping and brewing tea leaves or tea bags; that satisfying ahhhh moment when enjoying a well brewed cup with a nice simple digestive biscuit...

NO!... Not so in Cyber world it seems. Phew, there are a bunch of Ginger Nuts out there; suggestions of dipping ones Hobnob in my cup, stirring with their fancy fingers, sqeezing of lemons (for the continentals)... and don't get me started on the teabagging! :-o (I had to Wiki that one!)

If you ask me they are all "Boasters" (a Mcvit** product just in case you are wondering) and just a little cheesy biscuit with a helping of crackers!

My poor and humble... and innocent... view on tea and its pure delights is somehat on its head; do I laugh at the figurative speak (there is a temptation), giggle at the abstract cyber minds out there, or blush at the indecent suggestions.... I do declare that I did all three!

So having, laughed, sniggered, chuckled, made the biggest O shapes with my mouth, squinted at the screen with a slight tilt to one's head,... it's back to being a simple potato for me!

And on that note, I'm off to make a nice, calming, relaxing, cup of tea (with just a little chuckle lurking at the corners of my mouth).

 Have a great day folks and remember the tea kettle - it is always up to its neck in hot water, yet it still sings! *Smile*

... Oh and seriously, avoid Wikipedia unless you, really, really, want to know.....

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The secret diary of a Wiltshire new potato continues...

Posted by on in News

"it's been a funny sort of week" thank you Ken for that opener; plagiarism at it's best.


I've been having some funny and strange conversations with some Monstera Deliciosa, Romanescu broccoli, and Jabotacaba; in other words some really odd fruits and vegetables!

To expain, I have joined a chat site in search of fellow potatoes, perhaps even an Okinawan Purple Sweet Potato. Alas, I fear that potatoes, although actually being the most interesting type, are the rarest too. Still, these fruit salads have enlightened and educated me with the most random and useless bits of information:

Nutmeg contains myristicine, which is psyhcoactive. But a quick warning for any hippies out there, a large dose of nutmeg, whilst it may provide hallucinations, will also cause vomiting, sweating, dizziness and headaches. Please do not worry folks; the amounts used in cooking are completely harmless to potatoes and your average banana.

The most worrying fact shared with me was that Potatoes can kill! OK, perhaps a large, heavy, well aimed potato, at the back of the head would cause a severe headache, but really?

So it seems that a green, sprouting potato (which occurs when exposed to the light), contains a chemical that is a bit toxic. General advice is to keep your potatoes in a cool dark place.

"Oh no" she exclaims as she manically checks for green patches and new sprouts (gosh, wouldn't I be worried if I actually found some); I was rather looking forward to the sun returning as I'd planned on a little roasting and baking!

Still being the pragmatic potato that I am, I'll follow the sage advice of Laz Buhrmann and always wear sunscreen. Now all we need is some sun...


Have a lovely weekend my fellow fruits and vegetables, and don't forget - spice can add variety to your recipe of life. *Smile*

...and I DO NOT mean try the nutmeg!!!! :-o




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The secret diary of a Wiltshire New Potato continued....

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So how has my quest as a new potato been you may ask... or not, but I’ll let you know anyway.

Well, I watched some of the Russia v Czech Republic game on Friday. My reasons for watching - the Russians make great alcohol from potatoes (hic), plus I had an excuse to be a coach potato, and, I could eat potato chips as isn’t that the sort of thing you do whilst enjoying sport on the TV... well that’s my excuse so I’m sticking to it.

Hmm just a side thought, but I wonder if it is ok to eat one’s brethren; a debate for another day perhaps.

 Today after randomly considering the threat of potato blight, a worry for any fellow potato I’m sure, I decided a little practice at pest eradication couldn’t go amiss.

Having noticed scale aliens on my Acers it was time for full on all out warfare! Mwhahaha (Dr Evil I’m going to dominate the world type laugh).  So having just spent an hour waging chemical warfare against the aliens (scale bugs to any normal readers out there). Now I can only sit back and watch my special ‘napalm meets super toxic cellular destruction agents’ (aka a little washing up liquid mixed with special *secret ingredients - *if I told you I would have to kill you) being washed away - Damn BBC weather forecast, it wasn’t supposed to rain until tonight!!!!!

So having failed at world (garden) domination its back to being a coach potato for me!

Have a lovely Sunday people, and my cussing aside, never forget that without the rain, there would never be any rainbows! *smile*

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A blog post because Chris asked us to...

Posted by on in News

Latest news and gossip, um, errr.... I could make some up I’m sure *Smile*. I’ve never blogged before so slightly at a loss as to what to say. One must admit at this point that I have just looked up the definition of blogging or web logging (see, I did look it up) to find out what it’s ‘all about’. You’d never believe that I work in IT, which I do LOL (is it proper to use text ‘speak’ in blogs?).

Until today my only awareness of blogs, other than they are out there, was that the TV series Secret Diary of a call girl was based on her blog. Perhaps I should start a blog for the secret diary of a Wiltshire based new potato. (I’m a new member of Carrots & Bananas but the term new carrot didn’t seem to fit, and I’m not newly bananas I’ve always been that way, so new potato is it *Smile*)

Oops, I’ve just realized that I am rambling on without even introducing myself; how rude of me! I’m Tracy... and as blogs are supposed to be fairly concise, or at least have a point, I’m off to contemplate life as potato.... chipped, roasted, mashed, sounds fun to me! *Smile*. When I have something to blog about, the price of chips perhaps, I'm sure I will blog some more. Have a lovely evening people!

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